Roam (Guarding Her Book 5) Read online

  “I love you, too.”

  Kissing her nose, I give her a gentle push, and she stands up. “You can show me how much tonight.”

  She laughs as she walks away, and I grin, feeling like maybe things are finally going in the right direction for the first time in forever. I listen for them to leave and grab a shower to help wake me up, then eat some breakfast and flick on the TV. While I do that, I see Katie’s purple lunch box on the kitchen counter. I guess I’ll bring that to her after I eat. The dishwasher is clean, so I empty it and load it with the dirty dishes in the sink and my bowl from the oatmeal I just devoured.

  It’s been a little over an hour since they left, so I know I have plenty of time to bring Katie her lunch before noon. I don’t work until two, but figure I’ll just run it now so Cora doesn’t have to go back out. If Macy already didn’t go with Cora, I’d have her come with me. She loves car rides.

  My old beat-up truck rumbles to life, and I turn on some classic rock on the fuzzy radio for the drive. About three miles in, traffic is a little backed up, and I see why when I get around the corner. The street is completely blocked off, and cars are turning around. Damn.

  Habit from the job has me wanting to see if I can help. I pull up to the caution tape behind a firetruck and get out. Just as I lift the tape over my head, Trey, a man I’ve worked with for years who’s now in the traffic division, strides toward me with a hand up, stopping me.

  “What’s up?”

  He shakes his head, and something about the way he’s wringing his fingers makes my stomach clench. I can’t see the crash, but it must be bad.

  “What?”

  “Fuck, Noble, I don’t know how—”

  “What?” My arms fold across my chest, and I raise a brow at him. “What’s up?”

  “I was doing patrols and saw it.”

  “Saw what?”

  “Fuck, Noble. Fuck, man. They’re gone. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry. She hit a tree. But there’s nothing I could have done. Nothing anybody could have done.”

  I tilt my head to hear him better. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. Who?”

  “Your wife and your daughter.” He hesitates. “And your dog.”

  “What about them? She dropped Katie off at school, then went to the store.”

  “They never made it there, man. I’m so sorry.”

  “No.” I start to move, but he puts a hand on my chest. I glare at him, refusing to hear what he’s saying. “You’re mistaken. In fact, I’m going to go to her classroom to give her the lunch she forgot, so you’ll see. She’s at school. Cora dropped her off at fucking school, Trey.”

  “Noble, they were both DOA. Neither of them was wearing a seat belt.”

  I shake my head and notice several other officers slowly making their way toward us, and they all have absolutely no expression on their faces. “See, no. No! Now I know you’re lying. I always told my little sweet pea to wear her buckle no matter what. And she did every single time, so it couldn’t be her. It’s not her. She always wears her belt. You’re a fuckin’ liar!”

  “I’m not lying, Noble.” His voice drops. “Fuck, I wish I was. I’m so sorry, brother.”

  “No.”

  “I’ll drive you down—”

  “No, you won’t. You won’t take me anywhere. And stop lying. That’s not them.”

  He shakes his head. “It is… it’s them. I’m so sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re wrong. I just talked to Cora. She was good; she was happy. We were… things were good this morning. They were fucking good for the first time in years. You’re wrong, it’s not bad, it’s not. It was good.”

  He stands there, and through the confusion and the hollow and the panic, I see his eyes are wet. And I start to believe him. But no, no, goddammit. This isn’t happening. It’s not.

  I shove past him, but another man I’ve known for a long time blocks my path. “Move, Winslow.”

  “I can’t let you drive. Come on, I’ll take you.”

  “I don’t need you to drive me to my daughter’s school. I need you to get out of my way.”

  “She’s not at school.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  “She’s not. She’s gone, Noble. She’s gone.”

  I try to swallow the acid in my esophagus, and when I finally bring my eyes to meet his remorseful ones, it’s then that I realize. “She’s gone?”

  “Fuck, man. I… I’m so sorry.”

  “She’s… really… she’s really gone?”

  “Yes.” He clenches his jaw, the word forced.

  “All of them. They’re all gone?”

  He nods sharply once, and I blink, feeling wet heat roll down my face. “My world. Gone. It’s gone. Just like that?”

  Again, not a peep from him, just an acknowledgment, and I stare at his throat.

  “Just like that?”

  He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Just like that.”

  Chapter 1

  Noble

  almost eight years later

  “You good?”

  Her breath hitches in what sounds like a pained cry, but it rolls into a high-pitched moan that echoes in the room. “Yes.”

  “Yeah, you are.”

  The arch of her back is smooth, and her heart-shaped ass bounces with every brutal thrust. “Oh, my God.”

  “Fuck, babe. You’ve gotta come.”

  Even with her head turned to the side and pressed into the pillow, she manages to toss it back as her orgasm tears through her. Pleasured screams fill the room and shaky fingers claw at the sheets, her red nails disappearing into the luxury cotton.

  When his neck coils and his hips still as he pushes into her deeper, I turn my back to them and walk through the center of the room across the shiny white tile. I stop at the opposite corner I was in and do another visual sweep of the large, dark room.

  It’s a relatively slow night. Only about three couples are actively fucking, but another four are at the bar having drinks.

  I run security at Reverie, a very selective, highly secretive sex club. It’s not your typical club since only married couples are accepted as members after a detailed registration process.

  It’s strictly an eyes-on/hands-off establishment with the exception of the second Sunday of every month, which is known fittingly as Swap Sunday. And of course, Bring A Friend Friday, which happens the fourth Friday of every month.

  A high-gloss black bar lines the entire left side of the room. Every kind of liquor, beer, or wine is stocked, and there’s never a money exchange since everything is included in the insanely high monthly membership fee. A mirrored dance floor takes up the far end of the club, and on the opposite side of the bar, the mirrored wall is lined with high-top tables and chairs and booths.

  The action happens in the middle of the room. Beds, poles, swings, couches, and padded benches are scattered throughout, and on a Friday and Saturday night, they are usually all in use.

  Even though it’s exclusive and even though rules are in place to keep everybody safe, shit still happens. It isn’t like a normal bouncer gig where you break people up once a punch has been thrown. Any potential confrontations of jealousy or drunken antics need to be stopped before they start, which is what I do. It’s not as busy during the week, so it’s usually just me and one other guy, but on the weekends, at least four of us are here.

  It’s also important to make sure that everyone is comfortable with what’s happening, specifically the ladies. There have been a few times when the guys were so into what they were doing that I had to step in to make him aware that his woman was in distress.

  Bruce and his wife, Sadie, are making their way over to me, and I give them a curt nod. “You guys headed out?”

  “Yeah, I have to leave early to catch a flight.” Bruce tosses his toned arm around his wife’s shoulder. “And since someone just came really fuckin’ hard, she’s ready to pass out.”

  “Shut up.” She playfully sla
ps his stomach, then rests her head on his chest and looks at me as she bites her lip.

  “Let me go grab the car.” Bruce kisses his wife’s cheek before he takes off in a jog.

  I try to ignore Sadie as I walk away, but she runs her finger down my chest and dips her head, her wavy blond hair falling down past her shoulder. “When he’s gone, you’ll have to stop by.”

  “Not happening again.”

  “Why not? I know you had a good time.”

  If I grind my teeth together any harder, they’ll turn to dust. “Told you it was a one-time thing, Sadie. I told you that before you lied to me about being married. Even if you weren’t, it was never going to be more. You know that, so why the fuck you ask me every time you see me is beyond me.”

  “I don’t see what the big deal is. Bruce doesn’t care, so why do you?”

  “Because, unlike your husband, I don’t get off on fucking a woman who’s taken, and I don’t want to stick my dick in a pussy tied to another man.”

  Pure Sadie, she’s not even fazed and simply shrugs her shoulders. “Think about it, hot stuff.” She winks at me, then pushes the double doors open to find a waiting Bruce.

  Before the doors close behind her, I head toward the bar where Bebe is laughing at me as I bang my head on the wall.

  Bebe Russell is a bartender, but she’s also the owner. She’s a fifty-seven-year-old woman who opened the club about ten years ago after her husband died. They had a dream to make a place for couples who wanted to explore their sexual side in a classy, safe location.

  During their marriage, they had the fantasy of voyeurism but were always too reluctant to act on it. After he passed, she took his life insurance policy and opened this place up in memory of him. It’s been a thriving success upon inception because she expects nothing but perfection.

  And since she only uses the best, she hired Royal from the minute she opened.

  I lift my head and glare at Bebe. “Shut up.”

  “You shoulda known better.”

  “She didn’t tell me she was married.”

  She makes a noise of disbelief, a half-snort, half-laugh. “She has clingy written all over her. No way you didn’t see that from a mile away.”

  “I was wasted. I didn’t see shit until the next morning when I woke up, and then the first thing I did see was a picture of her and her husband on the nightstand.” I’ll never forget that feeling of disgust with myself for encroaching on another man’s territory, even if, in the end, it turns out the dude was not only okay with it but he also encouraged it.

  “I can ban them, you know. Just say the word and I’ll eighty-six both of them.”

  I shake my head. “They didn’t violate any of the bylaws. If you ban people for what they do outside the club, you’re gonna lose business because people won’t trust you.”

  “I know, but I like you. And I don’t care that they have an open relationship and fuck whoever they want when the other isn’t around. She should have told you she was married.”

  “I know. Seriously, Bebe, it’s all good.” I take a breath and decide to break the news to her. I’ve been wanting to do it for a while now, but I can’t put it off any longer. “I’ve gotta get another job.”

  She cocks a hip and tilts her head, eyes widening with shock. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Because of her?”

  “No, nothing to do with her. It’s just time to move on. For the past two years, I’ve watched people fuck for a living.”

  “No. You didn’t just watch people fuck. You kept them safe while they fucked.” She winks, and I roll my eyes at her. She’s a totally amazing woman, and I’ll surely miss her even though she can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

  “I’m gonna go talk to Erik tomorrow. See about Lincoln steppin’ up.”

  She nods after contemplating my choice of replacement. “I like him. He’s solid. Nobody will be as good as you, but I suppose he’ll do.”

  Satisfied she’s cool with my decision, I rap my knuckles on the bar top before walking away to do my rounds.

  “Noble.”

  I look over my shoulder and raise a brow. Her forearms rest on the shiny wood, and she’s leaning over toward me. “I didn’t move on from Ed because there isn’t another man for me. He was it. From the time I was eighteen until he passed, we spent a blissful twenty-nine years together. We had kids, those kids have kids now, and we were happy. You deserve to be happy, Noble. It is okay for you to move on and be happy.”

  “Be—”

  “She wasn’t your Ed. And what happened to her and Katie wasn’t your fault. Move on, Noble.”

  I close my eyes as I let her words penetrate the steel around my chest; or at least I try. She’s not talking about Sadie. It’s Cora. Because somehow, Bebe got my story out of me after I’d known her a week. She and I became tight since I’ve been here, and I think because of our losses, we relate to each other. Bebe’s not one for sentimental bullshit, so I’m not surprised that when I gather the small amount of composure I just lost and open my eyes, she’s already at the other end of the bar.

  She’s right, though I’ll never admit it to her. Aside from a few guys at Royal, she’s one of the only few who I’ve let in. So she knows that it’s been almost eight years since my daughter died, but to me, it still feels like it was yesterday.

  I haven’t moved on; not because I don’t want to but because I can’t. I won’t allow myself to be happy because the one thing that brought me joy was stolen, and until I get it back, nothing will come close to even replicating that fulfillment.

  The decision to step down from this position and take on different assignments is one I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I’m over this job. At first, it was the perfect distraction. It was different from the other personal protection jobs I’d had in the past. But lately, I find myself needing more of what I had before. I need to do something else to feel useful because I don’t feel that way here anymore.

  While I’m still here, I have a job to do, so for the next three hours, I do it. And once the club clears out, I walk Bebe to her car and then wait for her to pull away before I head to my truck and drive home in silence. The motion sensor lights come on as I turn down my long gravel driveway, and even though it’s pitch black outside, my house is lit up from the timer I have on my outdoor lights.

  Pointing the hood at the porch, I shift into park and yank the keys out of the ignition. Out of habit and training, I check my surroundings before I head inside. As soon as I open the heavy ass oak door, I hear her before I see her and can’t help the smile that comes to my face every time I look into her big brown eyes. “Hey, baby.”

  Luna runs up to me, her little tail whipping back and forth so fast it looks almost nonexistent. Her short legs spring when she jumps up, and I grab her to cuddle her to my chest. “Hey. Hi. I missed you, too.” She licks my cheek, and I set her down and chuckle to myself when her paws slip on the wood floor. She falls to her side before she rolls over and then runs to the back door. With a flick of my wrist, I unlock it and open the door but take a look to make sure there aren’t any coyotes or foxes close.

  Part of the appeal of living in the woods is nature, but when you have a ten-pound dog, nature can also be a threat. I lean on the railing while she does her business, and when she pounces back up the stairs, I slide the door closed and lock it, then dump some kibble in her bowl. As she’s eating, I grab a glass and pour three fingers of whiskey.

  I’ve just sat down on my beat-up brown leather chair when my cell rings. Not many people call me so I’m not surprised to see it’s Erik, my boss but also a friend from way back in the day. “Hey.”

  “Hey, you done at Reverie?”

  “Yeah, just got home.”

  “Cool. I need a favor.”

  He sounds a little frantic, so I sit up. “Of course, what’s up?”

  He clears his throat. “Obviously you know Paisley found a threatening note on her windshield last week. W
hat you don’t know because you weren’t at Royal when it happened, is at the time, there was a homeless woman who happened to be there and helped Paisley when she started having a panic attack. Since then, this woman has been staying with us because my wife has a huge heart and couldn’t let a nineteen-year-old girl continue living on the streets.”

  “Yeah, I remember.” Word spread fast about the threat against Erik’s adopted daughter, Paisley, and everyone banded together to do everything they could to help protect her and find out who did it. It’s been absolute hell because we’re at a dead end. No leads, and no fucking idea who’s behind the threat. I didn’t know about the homeless woman, though, but I’m not surprised Polly took her in.

  “If you’re up for it, I need you to jump in on the rotation.”

  I don’t even hesitate. Paisley is like everyone’s little sister. “When?”

  “We have a meeting tomorrow.”

  “Sure. I was gonna stop by anyway to talk to you.”

  “You got me now, what’s up?”

  No sense in waiting until tomorrow. “I need out of Reverie.”

  “Okay, you cool?” No hesitation or questioning me. One of the things I like about him, and the men I work with, is that we don’t second-guess each other.

  “Yeah. But two years at that place…”

  He chuckles. “I hear that. We’ll talk tomorrow after the meeting and figure out where to go from there. You have any idea what you wanna do? Back to personal protection? PI? K&R?”

  “Not sure. Haven’t thought much about it only that I need a change.”

  “Everything okay?” he asks with a different tone. Concern, probably.

  I answer right away. “Yeah. All’s well.”

  “All right, bud, sounds good. See you tomorrow.”

  We hang up, and I take another swallow of the smooth liquor and hold my arms out for my dog to hop up in my lap. I stroke her smooth black fur and sit in silence. Alone. Like always. No. Not like always. I’ve only been alone the past eight years, and I fuckin’ hate that I hate it. Because I know what a loud, happy house sounds like, what it feels like, and that was way better than what I have now.